wow i was just reading my last entries.....they sounded pretty rude and crazy. do i really talk like that? naw. no i dont lol. well at least i hope i dont/ that was one crazy day. i was really trippin though, for nothing. it was sooo stupid. i really am glad that i havent, well, that i've been single lol. all that drama is just doin too much. and for what? absolutely nothing. waste of time. but yeah it makes me rethink what i'm about to type lol. okay well the only reason i even came in here is cuz aviana hurt my feelings (aww) yeah i know. shes always makin me mad. i dunno why she always has to show out, but it can become extremely annoying. really. i dunno....maybe i should try and talk to her about it. shes so extreme all the damn time. just because....well i dont really know why she does it. but this time she kinda went to far and it actually hurt my feelings. i'm pretty sure she really didnt want to, so then why does she do that in the first place? like say so many rude things to u....i dunno....just because she thinks its funny? i mean u can only say so much.

i think part of the reason this blog is so crazy is because i only write in it when i feel ridiculos, and mad. so everything seems so psycho. sometimes i dont make sense to myself.

i hate when gross guys hit on me! yuck why me? why dont nice boys like me? i really dont feel like i have a nice space there in love land. what the heck is wrong with me. why wont someone just bring me some freakin food! are u serious! jeez. i understand if aviana would just try and help me, but she really be tryna act all dumb and regulate something. i can make my own decisions.

ugghhhuuughhhh. i iwsh ppl would listen to me, until i've completely finished my though before they made their own assumptions. maybe i should complete my thought before i say it. maybe i assume people will undertsand. but they dont. is it a mirror.

this is throughly random and weird, so i guess i'm done.

dear shithead,

where the hell have u been? why havent u called me? that doesnt make any sense, especially since u call me every effing day. is this ur way of breakin up with me? if it is then u coulda saved us both alot of time and just told me. it woulda been alot easier than wonderin what the heck is goin on with u. and if u dont wanna break up, then how could u just not call me like this? are u not thinking? u dont think tahts a little effing rude? well it is very rude, and very careless of u. cant u take just a few seconds to think about how that action must make me feel? what it must make me think? ya know ur always saying how much u love me and how i'm everything to u and how u wish i wasnt leaving with tears brimming in ur eyes, but its obvious now that thats a bunch of bullshit, cuz someone who cared so much wouldnt let all this time pass without even letting me know ur at least alive. i mean if u didnt wanna hang out with me or u just needed a little space thats totally fine, but let me know that dumbass. dont just switch up all of a sudden and not call at all. u never take the time to think about how i feel do u? i bet u anything ur somewhere getting high. or drunk. ur so stupid. what is wrong with u? why are u such a liar? i'm tired of this bull. seriously if its like that, then be like that by urself. we dont gotta be together. i aint gonna break down if ur not apart of my life. u'll realize soon enough that u just effed up the best thing that ever happened to u, and thats no joke whatsoever. if u do finally decide to call me, u better have one hell of an excuse, cuz if u dont, its bye bye darling, have a fucked up life.